35 Weird Facts You Never Heard Of

1Rubber bands last longer when refrigerated.

2. Peanuts are one of the ingredients of dynamite.

3. There are 293 ways to make change for a dollar.

4. The average person’s left hand does 56% of the typing.

5. A shark is the only fish that can blink with both eyes.

6. There are more chickens than people in the world.

7. Two-thirds of the world’s eggplant is grown in New Jersey.

8. The longest one-syllable word in the English language is “screeched.”

9. On a Canadian two dollar bill, the flag flying over the Parliament building is an American flag.

10. All of the clocks in the movie “Pulp Fiction” are stuck on 4:20.

11. No word in the English language rhymes with month, orange, silver, or purple.

12. “Dreamt” is the only English word that ends in the letters “mt”.

13. All 50 States are listed across the top of the Lincoln Memorial on the back of the $5 bill.

14. Almonds are a member of the peach family.

15. Winston Churchill was born in a ladies’ room during a dance.

16. Maine is the only State whose name is just one syllable.

17. There are only four words in the English language which end in “dous”: tremendous, horrendous, stupendous, and hazardous.

18. The characters “Bert” and “Ernie” on Sesame Street were named after “Bert the cop” and “Ernie the taxi driver” in Frank Capra’s “It’s a Wonderful Life.”

19. A cat has 32 muscles in each ear.

20. An ostrich’s eye is bigger than its brain.

21. Tigers have striped skin, not just striped fur.

22. In most advertisements, the time displayed on a watch is 10:10.

23. Al Capone’s business card said he was a used furniture dealer.

24. Los Angeles’ full name is “El Pueblo de Nuestra Senora la Reina de los Angeles de Porciuncula.”

25. A dragonfly has a life span of 24 hours.

26. A goldfish has a memory span of three seconds.

27. A dime has 118 ridges around the edge.

28. It’s impossible to sneeze with your eyes open.

29. The giant squid has the largest eyes in the world.

30. In England, the Speaker of the House is not allowed to speak.

31. The microwave was invented after a researcher walked by a radar tube and a chocolate bar melted in his pocket.

32. Mr. Rogers is an ordained minister.

33. The average person falls asleep in seven minutes.

34. There are 336 dimples on a regulation golf ball.

35. “Stewardesses” is the longest word that is typed with only the left hand.

source: madconomist.com

Funny Text Messages III

Jelly Baby goes 2 the Dr & says “Dr i’ve got aids” Dr replys “U cant have aids ur a jelly Baby” Jelly Baby says “yes but Dr i’ve been sleepin wiv ALLSORTS!

chicken and egg in bed,chicken has head on pillow smoking.Egg rolls over annoyed saying”i guess we answered that question”

A teacher ask”wot part of the body goes to heaven first?”A child replies”feet- coz every nite i c my mum with her feet in the air screamin GOD I’M COMIN!

Put your crash helmet on, you’re going through the head board.

Do you believe in love at first sight…or do I have to walk by again?

There’s a gap in your life! Mind if I fill it!

girls are like phones. we like to be held and talked too- but if u press the wrong button u’ll be disconnected! Put your crash helmet on, you’re going through the head board.

Do you believe in love at first sight…or do I have to walk by again?

There’s a gap in your life! Mind if I fill it!

I’m not Fred Flintstone but i can make your bedrock!

Wanna play Pearl Harbor? That’s where I lay down and you blow the hell out of me

My eyes R hurting coz I can’t C U, My arms R empty coz I can’t hold U, My lips R cold coz I can’t kiss U but, My heart is breaking coz I’m not with U!

i heard someone whisper ur name, but when i turned around to c who it was, i notice i was alone, then i realize it was my heart telling me that i miss u.

4getn u is hard 2 do, 4gtn me is up2 u, 4gt me not, 4gt me neva, but don’t 4get, we’re gr8 2gether

I’m not as dumb as you look.

Elvis is dead and I don’t feel so good myself.

How do frogs die? They Kermit suicide.

It’s important to find a man who has money, a man who adores you,a man who is great in the sack. It’s also imprtant that these 3 men should never meet!

A man can kiss his wife goodbye. A flower can kiss a butterfly.Wine can kiss a frosted glass.But u my friend can kiss my ass!

i tried to call you from a payphone last night. i put my doner card in by mistake, it cost me an arm and a leg!

Ur only mine wen i dream.wen i wake i wanna scream.ur not mine im all alone.i can only text u on my fone.do dreams lie or r dey true-i hope so cos babes i want u!

If dreams werent dreams & dreams came true i woodnt b here id b wiv u.Distance is 1 thing dat keeps us apart.But ull always remain in my heart!

Y do we close our eyes wen we sleep- wen we dream, wen we kiss?dis is becoz the most precious thing in the world is unseen.Wen i close my eyes i c u!

Them: Here’s 10p – go and tell your mum you’re not coming home
You: Here’s a pound – go and buy yourself some breath freshener

Them: I never forget a face
You: Neither do I but in your case I’ll make an exception

Haven’t I seen your face before – on a police poster?

A smile is a curve that can.Straighten out a lot of things.

life is short! if you dont look around once in a while you might miss it

Those who are afraid to fall, will never fly.

source:  http://www.messaging.newmobilemedia.com

Funny Text Messages II

ngatz bhe...
muahhx...

ngongo, bumibili ng
GATSBY WAX!

====

titser: ang pangit naman ng name mo "conrado domingo" in short "Condom"
Pupil: ok lang po yun mam, kesa naman sa asawa nyo "Supremo Potenciano"
in short "SUPOT"

====

Isang araw sa tindahan:

Bata: tok tok tao poh
Tindera: ano yun?
Bata: nang naa mo load?
Tindera: naa!
Bata: pa-txt daw!!

====

Salawikain ng mga high school students

"aanhin mo pa ang 90 kung 75 na ang uso"

"its better to cheat than to repeat"

"No need to review kodigo will do"

"aanhin mo pa ang libro kung scholar ang katabi mo"

"ang hindi marunong lumingon pag exam... bagsak ang kalalabasan"

====

A kid staring in a pangit na tambay. D tambay got angry and shouted:

"Hoy bata!! ngano lain man ka makatan-aw!?"

Kid: ikaw, ngano lain man kau ka tan-awon?

====

taga-bukid na anak ug tatay nagsakay sa elevator..

Anak: tay, mahal guro pasahe ani noh? mangutana daw tah tagpila tay?
Tatay: paghilom uy! ayaw dad'a imong pagkaignorante diri...
tagad sah tah sa konduktor kng tagaan na tag-ticket!!

====

Girl: alam m para kang bisyo
Boy: (kilig) dahil hindi mo ako maiwasan..
Girl: hindi noh..

Dahil sinisira mo buhay ko!!!

====

Nilapitan kita pero nilayuan mo ako

Kinausap kita pero tinitigan mo lang ako

hinabot kita pero tinakbuhan mo ako

ganya ba talaga

kayong mga

"unggoy"

(peace)

====
Mga kasabihan

"ang batang masipag pag laki pagod"

"ang pera madaling mawala pag hindi pinaghirapan. pero mas madaling
mawala pag sinugal mo"

"black is beauty but too much is charcoal"

"dont feed the chicken pag ang alaga mo mga bibe"

"d bale ng manakawan ng 10 beses wag lang masunugan pero mas mabuti
masunugan kesa nakawan ka ng halik ni diego"

"mas mukhang bao ang ulo kalbo na may konting buhok kesa sa bao ng puno namin."

"dont judge the book by its cover maliban na lang kung ang libro ay
puro cover hanggang sa loob"

"ang pagtulog ay pampatangkad pero paano ka tatangkad kung tuwing
umaga at tanghali gigisingin ka"

====

Driver: yung mga pangit pwede ng bumaba. may checkpoint kasi sa unahahan.
pabor lang.

Pasahero: tapos kuya? sino na pong magddrive ngayun?

====

sabi ng mga ninuno pag ang isang tao daw binati mo ng "hi" at sa loob
ng 5 seconds na walang reply...

"maitim daw ang singit"







masubukan nga...

"HI"

============

Know what? your so cute and so nice
Kaya Love kita eh
Dead na dead ako sayo..
And i have three words 2 say..
3 words that ul nvr 4get
3 words that wil touch u..

Joke
Joke
Joke

======

Rod: Bakit badtrip ka ?
Harry: nagtampo skin ang u2l q.
Rod: Bakit naman?
Harry: nakalimutan ko kasi ang birthday nya
Rod: yun lang? anong masama run?
Harry: ang masam run..

Twins kami!!! TWINS!!!!!

=======

Inday nung 9 yrs old

Nay: nak paglaki mo ano gusto mo maging?
Inday: marami po nay eh.
Nay: ano ba yun?
Inday:
wen i grow up i wanna be famous, i wanna bee a star i wanna be in
movies i wanna se the world drive nice cars i wanna have groupies when
i grow up be on tv people know me be on magazines.
Nanay: be carefull on what you wish for coz you just might get it...

========

DEVILS
r not
allowed
in sex

y?

Becoz
they
will
feel

HEAVEN

==========

Bakit nakakamatay ang butter?

Because...

Its ment ti kil ya!!!

==========

Laugh is....

daw ang gamitin sabi ni mam para madaling mabura...

=========

Sa buhay
d maiwasang may makilala ka

maging malapit kau

madevelop ka

at hindi mo akalaing

mahal mo na pala siya

Pero ang tanong

ikaw ba...

eh kumain na? aq kasi tapos na...

============

Isang araw napadaan ako sa dalawang lovers na sobrang sweet...

Napatingin yung boy sa akin

Tapos ayun..

nauso na ang

BREAK UP

============

I live a difficult life
Lagi na lang ako nasasaktan..
When people call me

gwapa
aray!

gorgeous
aray!

smart
aray!

Lovable
aray!

22o pla anoh?

d truth hurts

===========

Pag may kasalanan ka sa ina mo
wag kang matakot
unahan mo agad
sabihin mo:
"hoy pagod aq!! huwag nyo kong pagalitan"
sabay kuha ng bag at damit
tska mo isigaw:
"Punyetang bata ako!!! hala cge layas aq!!"

source: http://pinoyjoke.blogspot.com/

Funny Text Messages

Texting is one of my hobby. It’s a part of my life now. In this way, I could communicate well to my friends. Some funny text messages completes my day. I will share to you some funny messages which I googled to brighten your day.

———————————————————-

I read on the newspaper that sending text messages causes a radiation that is cancerous. That’s why I have decided to stop - to stop reading newspapers.

Why do I miss you? Because you make me smile. You are so kind. You are so sweet. You are very funny. And most of all, because you are not texting me any more. That’s why.

When you are in love, you wish you were married. When you are married, you wish you were in love.

The rain makes all things beautiful, the grass and flowers too. But if rain really makes all things beautiful, why doesn’t it rain on you?

Whenever I hear people say something bad about you, like when they say that you are not cute enough, I would always come to your defense and say “She’s trying to be one naman a!”

I hate blackout. Never mind the aircon, never mind TV and stereo, never mind the internet. But if I could not recharge my cell phone so I could keep texting, that’s another point. I hate blackout.

Every time I hold her hand, I feel like holding my cheek. She always slaps me on the face.

The only people whom I greet “Good morning” are those who are smart, cute and malakas ang sex appeal. So, pano ba yan? E di good afternoon na lang sayo!

“Learn to appreciate art,” I told my girlfriend. She said, “How could I appreciate you, then?”

You’ve got sex appeal, you’ve got style, you’ve got intelligence, and you’ve got class. You’ve got the face and you’ve got the body but I’ve got the wrong number… Sorry ha, mali pala!

We hate others for imitating us. We are irritated by their attitude.

Kung akala mo importante ka sa akin, kung akala mo may tiwala ako sayo, kung akalamo namimiss kita at kung akala mo friend kita…Korek ka dyan!

I’m sure you were born in this world as a cute baby. Now that you’re a grownup, I have one question….. What happened?

Someday you may lose your hair, you may lose your teeth, your money and even lose your mind. But one thing you will never lose – your good looks, coz you can never lose what you don’t have!

I had a dream about you. Nasa heaven daw tayo with two angels. Your angel is cute but mine is not, so tampo ko. I asked why cute ang angel mo. They said: “Balance of nature”.

Why do we sleep? Because we need to take a break from texting. Have a nice dream while texting.

How can you know if a person is cute? First, he or she has a poor memory. Second – umn … I forgot na!

Our friendship means a lot to me, that if we were the last people on a sinking ship and there’s only one life vest, I’ll..uhm.. ah.. eh..I’m gonna miss you for sure!

Naiinis ako! Naiinis ako! Naiinis ako! Naiinis ako! Naiinis ako! Naiinis ako! Kasi sabi nila cute daw ako kapag naiinis ako! Kaya, Naiinis ako! Naiinis ako! Naiinis ako! Naiinis ako! Naiinis ako!

Reporter: How does it feel to become a millionaire?
Millionaire: Sad, because I am not a billionaire.

I’ve just heard a funny joke. I can’t stop laughing. Hahahaha! Want to hear it. Biruin more…..cute ka raw? Hahahaha!

While walking down the street, I heard an old man say “I’ve been in love with the same woman for almost 50 years now.” I was touched until I heard him say “I wish she knew.”

Bakit exciting ang text? 1. Kasi pwedeng magpacute and pangit. 2. Pwedeng single ang married 3. Sa text bida ang sinungaling 4. Sa text bistado ang kuripot.

Smile is the secret to stay young and cute. Naks, bakit ka nakangiti?

What is the difference between cute and feeling cute? Cute is the one who sent this and feeling cute is the one reading this. He…He…he… Text mo sa iba para ikaw naman ang cute!

I may not be your PEPSI choice of the new generation; I may not be your COKE, only the real thing; or your NIDO, world’s no. 1 but I can be your REXONA I won’t let you down.

I’m thinking u. I want to be with u. I am longing for u. I have a crush on u. I want to hug and kiss u. I love u. Ikaw, love mo rin ba ang letter u?

If you are alone, I’ll be your shadow. If you want to cry, I’ll be your shoulder. If you want a hug, I’ll be your pillow. If you need to be happy, I’ll be your smile. If you need money, wait for your salary.

No matter how sad, no matter how sick, I feel better just thinking of you… But I’m happier each time I send you a message ‘coz I know I’ll be disturbing you!

If they say “Good looks could kill”, then please don’t look at me! I don’t wanna see you die!

Anong animal ang hindi sigurado? Eh di BAKA! Ano naman ang pinutol? E di CAT! E ano naman and laging ayos? E di OX! Ano ang laging nauuntog? E di DOG! E ano naman ang pangit? E di COW!

I sent an angel to watch over you last night while you were sleeping. She went back to me and said ang cute mo raw. Sinampal ko nga. Mali ang binantayan.

Between the thousand yesterdays and a million tomorrows, there’s only one today and I wouldn’t let this day pass without saying this to you – ang cute ko, grabe!

source: www.txtmania.com